ANNOYED ALL THE TIME

working my last nerves.

2007-10-10T12:24:00.000-07:00

I love when people call and ask your advice and then you give it to them and they feel some type of way about it.

You called me. You asked my honest opinion, I gave it to you and now what?

It's not what you wanted to hear? Well, then you need to be more specific. Instead of calling and asking for advice just say look, i need you to agree with me on this. I will listen to it. If I agree, I will tell you but, if it sounds like a bunch of bullshit, then trust me, I'm going to call you on it. And then I will think twice about answering my phone when you call me again.

Leave me alone oK?

THE TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY

2007-08-30T23:44:00.001-07:00

THE TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have Merlot.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Pro Wrestling is fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and yogurt instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak please.
13. Cappuccino Latte tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that truck are just too big.
11. I've saved it all on the C: drive.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
9. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
7. Checkmate.
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
4. I don't have a favorite college team.
3. You Guys.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer young lady!

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!

ugly kids

2007-07-20T17:44:00.000-07:00

people with ugly kids,

do they know their kids are ugly or are they in denial?

i mean really, if i had an ugly kid, i would never leave the house

but then again, i'm going to burn in hell for this one but, oh well

it had to be said.

The death of Mr. Common Sense

2007-07-19T17:40:00.001-07:00

My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early
in my life and told me I
would do well to call on him when making
decisions. It seems he was always
around in my early years but less and less as
time passed by. Today I read
his obituary. Please join me in a moment of
silence in remembrance, for
Common Sense had served us all so well for so
many generations.

Obituary
Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old
friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for
sure how old he was since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic
red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable
lessons as knowing when to
come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets
the worm, life isn't
always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies (don't spend more
than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not children are
in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well
intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and
a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job
they themselves failed to do in disciplining
their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required
to get parental consent to
administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a Bandaid to a
student, but could not
inform the parents when a student became pregnant
and wanted to have an
abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and
criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a
beating when you couldn't
defend yourself from a burglar in your own home
and the burglar can sue you
for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live,
after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.
She spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his
parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility;
and his son, Reason. He is
survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights,
Someone Else is to Blame,
and I'm a Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone. If you
still remember him, pass this on. If not, join
the majority and do nothing.

Trying to get pregnant

2007-07-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

what the hell does, we're trying to get pregnant mean?

just do the humpty dance and roll the dice already!

did you ever think about not telling people your personal business

until you're atleast 20 weeks?

we'll still be happy for you but, it would make the element of surprise a bit more

well.................bearable and we might just care.

Her: Ohhhh me and Larry are trying to get pregnant!

Me: *crickets*

Smacking your teeth

2007-07-17T21:44:00.000-07:00

Smacking your teeth when you eat drives me nuts. please stop it now.

Dear arbonne, marykay, tupperware and avon consultants

2007-07-04T01:11:00.000-07:00

please do yourselves a favor and go and play in traffic.

if we wanted your products, we would call you.

please! stop sending those LAST chance before the sale is over emails to me.

i have a feeling that i'm on the verge of cussing one of you out real soon.

please save yourself a cussing out and just stop it now.

Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL Visiting Northerner's

2007-06-17T11:31:00.001-07:00

Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL Visiting Northerner's

Fifteen Ways to Avoid a Southern Ass Whuppin

1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.

2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.) or we will just HAVE to kick your ass.

3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever...it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.

4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, Home Depot, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g. Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick his/her ass.

6) Don't laugh at our War Between the States monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.

7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, QUICK or we'll kick your ass.

8) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended - with gravy. And don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.

9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked.

10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern hellholes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.

12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.

13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

14) So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or New Jersey. Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.

15) Don't be calling us " racist" and pointing your self righteous fingers at us before you check out your own Yankee history!! Check out the most recent KKK headquarters while you're at it..... Columbus, Ohio, Gary, Indiana, etc. Call us racist bigots one more time and we'll kick your ass clear back to Brooklyn or where ever the hell you're from!!!!!!

16) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbecue, and you will go home in a pine box.. . . minus your ass.

Potluck Dinners.

2007-06-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

What are you thoughts on potluck dinners?
What are the worst experiences you've had at potlucks?
Are you leery of potlucks?
Does it freak you out when people reach all over the food?
Do you inspect the food and presentation before you put it on your plate?
Do you ask what the heck a dish is because it looks unrecognizable? Is that rude?
Just wondering!

Let's discuss.

Tiny.

2007-06-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

Boyfriend pokes girlfriend's belly and says, "What are we going to name it?"
Girlfriend says, "Tiny" like your penis.

**A friend of mine told me that joke. I still chuckle when I think about it.**

Say What?

2007-06-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

I am watching Maury right now. Yeah, that's my first offense. Anyways, I'm watching Maury and the topic is: I have 22 kids, I am NOT the father.

Well, needless to say, I am sitting her with my mouth wide opened. Clearly because THESE people are on here "acking a foo"

Here's some highlights:
*I am 2000th percent positive that he's my babies daddy~ Blah, Blah.
*Look at his nose, he look just like his daddy
*He's the ONLY one I had sex with

Well, LO and BEHOLD, the test shows that these men were NOT the babies father. *sigh*

Here's the question and I need some open feedback on this one.

At what point does a woman decide to have SEX with a man with more than ONE child and more than ONE baby momma? Especially ONE who doesn't take care of any of his other kids. What makes a woman THINK this same man will be there to take care of his kids if he hasn't taken care of any of the other 21 kids. Yes. 21 kids. Hell, 3 kids by 3 different women, whatever way you want to twist it. HOW??????does. this.happen? and WHY?????????

i looooved this post on: Daily Views, Pop Culture, Rants, and News: If getting into heaven is based on following commandments, I'm fucked..

2007-06-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

i LOVED this post.lovedit. Save a seat for me in hell :)
Much Props on posting this one! All kudos to you!!!!

Daily Views, Pop Culture, Rants, and News: If getting into heaven is based on following commandments, I'm fucked..

please stop

2007-05-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

inviting me to your kid's parties. i HATE parties. i HATE buying presents. please stop.

Do I know this dude?

2007-04-22T12:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, I've lost count of how many of these emails I've received:
That's what I get for signing up for sweepstakes using my REAL email address. Urrgh!!!

Good day,

My name is Mr. Chen Guangyuan, I
am a staff of Bank of China, Our
late client named Ghazi Musa
Hassan made a fixed deposit
amount of $17,300,000, he did not
declare any next of kin in any of
his papper work, I want you as a
foreigner to stand as the
beneficiary to transfer this
funds out of my bank into your
account, after the successful
transfer, we shall share in the
ratio of 30% for you and 70% for
me.

I want to assure you that all is
well planned as we shall do this
inline with all legal and banking
requirements. All i need from you
is your willingness, trust and
confidentiality so that we can
work together to achieve success.
Should you be interested please
send me the required information
below.

1, Full names,
2, private phone number,
3, current residential address

And I will prefer you reach me on
my private email address below:
chengguangyuan01@yahoo.com.hk

Sincerely,
Mr. Chen

cottage cheese anyone???

2007-04-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

Areyoukiddingmerightnow?

2007-03-22T09:56:00.000-07:00

Lady in front of me today obviously drenched herself in the cheapest perfume on the market. Peeeee-U!

Give me a break already

2007-02-08T21:25:00.000-08:00

If I see ONE more kid throw a tantrum in public, I'm going to snap. It's NOT the parent's fault, it really isn't. There are days that kids just decide to act the hell up all in public. Now, if we beat the hell outta our kids, we're wrong, if we say stop it johnny, i'll tell daddy when we get home, then we're CRAZY! So, tell me what are we supposed to do when our kids decide to fall out in the store?

At least he's being honest

2006-10-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

The shirt says:

I may not be Mr. Right but, I'll F*ck you until he shows up. Wow. I guess you can't fault him for being honest???

You tell me.

And the winner is

2006-10-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

The lady who decided that having her gut hang out of her mini baby doll shirt was a good idea today. I am a firm believer that we all need that one person in our life who will tell us the truth. Honey, you are not cute with your gut hanging out, cover up. Thanks.

One more thing

2006-10-23T21:43:00.000-07:00

I will NEVER take a person with rotten teeth seriously.

I mean come on, do you really think I'm going to be focused on what you're saying?

No, I'm focusing on the rotten teeth all up in your mouth. That's nasty. Get that sh*t fixed. Ugg! That's just nasty.

Ok. I'm done.

I really don't care

2006-10-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm in line at the post office and this lady behind me kept trying to start a conversation with me. Dammit Lady does my body language not tell you that I could giving a flying HOOT about what you're blabbing about.

Her: He is so cute
Me: Thank you
Her: What's his name
Me: Oh my goodness, this line is so long, I really have to get out of here

What the EFF did she not get about me ignoring her.

Give me a break.

Nosy People

2006-10-21T00:32:00.000-07:00

Honestly what gives you the right to open your mouth to ask someone a question that is obviously none of your business.

Guess I was suppose to say, it's none of your business? How about you worry about yourself and what you need to do to get your life together. Ok? Thanks.

Who are her parents?

2006-10-20T00:36:00.000-07:00

Is THIS VIDEO supposed to be cute? How about turn off the video camera and clean up. Just a little. Thanks.

Is this abuse?

2006-10-19T00:40:00.000-07:00

Is it my imagination? The kid second from the right seems a bit YOUNG to be on that ride.

SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

DID SHE SAY PROSTITUTE????????
WHAT IS THE NUMBER FOR CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES? I GOTTA MAKE A CALL. THIS IS A SHAME!

HERE'S THE LYRICS:
*talking*
Oh my god
Becky, look at her butt
Its so big
She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
Who understands those rap guys
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute
I mean her butt
It's just so big
I can't believe it's so round
It's just out there
I mean, it's gross
Look, she's just so black

*rap*
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got
Make Me so horney
Ooh, rump of smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my benz
Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy

I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's Sweat,Wet, got it goin like a turbo vette

I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back

So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back

(LA face with Oakland booty)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And UH, double up UH UH
I aint talkin bout playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knockin these bimbos walkin like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna --
Til the break of dawn
Baby Got it goin on
Alot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)
Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back

(LA face with the Oakland booty)

Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo ain't got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend throws a Honda
Playin workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin
And I'm thinkin bout stickin
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You aint it miss thing
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice did miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back
Baby got back
Little in tha middle but she got much back x4

THEY CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

2006-09-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

OWNERS OF DOGS HAVE LOST THEIR DAYUM MINDS!!!!! THEY CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!!!!!

Things that annoyed me today

2006-08-10T18:46:00.000-07:00

Is she watching the road or her cellphone?

What is the purpose of this?

2006-08-09T16:40:00.000-07:00

Thongs that show up on your backside? Looking at your asses? FLATones at that!!!

Pull your f*cking pants up. If you don't---- I'll give you a wedgie right now. Knock it off already!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS SIGN?

2006-08-08T21:42:00.000-07:00

FIRST POST--WELCOME TO ANNOYEDALLTHETIME

2006-08-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

HEY NOW!

HERE'S WHERE I GET TO POST HOW ANNOYED I AM BY LIFE'S SIMPLE THINGS.

IF YOU'RE A POSITIVE THINKER, SPEAKER, ETC...

MOVE ON.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE