THE TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY

THE TOP 30 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have Merlot.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Pro Wrestling is fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and yogurt instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak please.
13. Cappuccino Latte tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that truck are just too big.
11. I've saved it all on the C: drive.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
9. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
7. Checkmate.
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
4. I don't have a favorite college team.
3. You Guys.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer young lady!

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!